God is on His throne! Now, if I could just live that way all the time . . .

Just this past week, my husband and I got in a small car accident. Long story short, we were in rush-hour traffic, trying to make an appointment. We tried to get around a gigantic icecream truck (seriously. So distracting) and didn't realize the cars right in front of us had stopped until it was too late. My hubby slammed on the breaks after I started saying, "Stop - Stop - STOP", but then had to swerve, and we still ended up rear-ending the poor guy in front of us, who then bumped the lady in front of him.

This isn't our car (we forgot to take a picture), but the damage looks similar to what our car had -  just add in deployed airbags.

Longer story even shorter, an hour or so later we were back home with a totalled car and no idea how God was going to provide for us . . . but we were sure of one thing; He would.

And He has!

Right after the fact, we lay on the living room floor and praised God for His amazing care of us.
* Nobody was hurt. Seriously - we didn't even suffer whiplash, just a tiny bit of rug-burning from the airbags.
* Nobody was unkind. The guy we hit wasn't happy, but he never said anything unkind, and the other lady was very sweet and let us borrow her phone.
* The policemen were professional and polite and did their jobs well.
* The tow-truck driver was extremely helpful, giving us all kinds of advice and saving us time and money.
* The tow driver recommended a junkyard that would not only buy the car off us, but pick it up for free (we scored $300 off that poor little thing).

Since then, God has kept proving His amazing care for us!
We've been able to borrow a work vehicle for the first three days since the accident, and then a classmate Hubby only just met offered his car since the classmate would be out of town for 10 days. And people from church have also offered their cars, if we can't buy a new car before we have to give his car back!

God is good, and it's been exciting, sweet and humbling to watch Him provide.

Unfortunately, this all sounds like we're super Christians and capable of throwing ourselves totally on God's grace when big, dangerous, scary, uncontrollable things happen.
I wish this were the case, that we've already, at our relatively young ages, learned this hard lesson. God has given us a lot of grace, definitely! But the more I've thought about it, the more I've realized that for me personally, this isn't a big trying-ground. It would be for some people, but I'm . . . strange.

Things like general funds and cars and apartments and schooling don't bother me too much . . . because they're either too abstract or the problem is too big and vague for me to get really comprehend. I tend to be more basic.

You know what I struggle with?

Food.

I want ALL OF THIS.

I LOVE FOOD.
 (I might be slightly low-blood-sugar, as I get desperately pathetic and low-energy when I haven't eaten for 4 hours. Maybe that makes me less sad?)

For some people, losing a car would be a really hard problem, and a big crucible of testing. For me, it's every month when we come towards the end of the tiny dollars in our budget and can't make any more grocery trips. It's the staring in the fridge, feeling snacky but guilty because the things I want to eat are my husband's special allergy-free diet foods, so I can't have them. It's the constant war between my head and my stomach.

And I realized tonight that while (for some crazy reason) it's easy for me to depend on God's provision for a new car on a tight budget, what I really need to let go of and depend on Him for is our food and the money (or lack thereof) to buy more food.

Tonight was communion. As those little crackers were passed by, I took a bit of saltine and looked at that flaky, salty, crunchy morsel in my hand . . . and it hit me.

Jesus is the bread of life. He has to be my ultimate fulfillment. Jesus is the 'manna' that came from heaven, that people look at and say, "What is that?" just like the Hebrews looked at the flaky white bread outside their tents and wondered what it was. He's the unexpected but completely sufficient solution for all problems.

These are the things I need to learn, and cling to. More important than feeding my stomach is the nourishment of my soul. Man cannot live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God!

"But....!" my stomach whispers, "but . . . I LIKE BREAD. I neeeeed it!"

But I need my Christ more, and He has promised to provide.

Apparently, these need to be my life verses:

³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

God is providing for us in our car needs, and he's been providing food all along (we aren't starving, I promise - which is what makes my food-depression even more silly).

God is good, fully trustworthy, and in control! Now I just really need to take that from my head, and put it in my heart.